3AM Dad

Mother's Day Guest Post from Lisa at Raising Explorers

Mon, 13 May 2013 19:56:01 +1000

My name is Lisa. I’m not just an English teacher, or just a mum, or a wife, or just a great big greenie. I’m all of those things. My blog Raising Explorers, inspired by my kids, is also all of those things. So what does a twin-mum, English-teaching environmentalist, who is passionate about learning through play, have to say? Well, you’ll have to come and visit to find out… www.raisingexplorers.net

Mother’s Day: terrariums, tantrums and glow worms in the toilet

Yesterday I celebrated my fourth Mother’s Day. To be honest, I don’t really remember the other three very much. In addition to having a three-year-old, I have another three-year-old (yes, twins), so the first couple of years are a bit of a blur. Things are less foggy now. I hope to remember this Mother’s Day next year. Actually, I had a bit of wine yesterday, so maybe I won’t.

I have a photo from my first Mother’s Day, which is nice. I thought about making that an annual tradition – a Mother’s Day photo with the kids – but I forgot to tell anyone else, so it hasn’t happened again. You get that, right, mums? You never get a photo of you. You have fifty thousand photos of the kids with everyone else, because you take them, but none of you? I have resorted to taking selfies of me and the kids, which are never very successful. In addition to the fact that I have a physiological aversion to selfies (what is the deal with those mirror ones!?), there’s always someone’s head blocking someone else’s head, or someone’s face front and centre, massive and alien-like, while everyone else’s are cut off mid-forehead. Here’s a typical one:

Oh, yeah, that face painting was done by me, too. As you can see, I have many skills. But enough of that. This post is about my reflection of Mother’s Day. What happened, what I learnt, and things to remember for next time.

Now I must preface this all with that I am a very lucky woman. My husband is pretty darned amazing. He gets the kids breakfast every day, cleans more than I do, takes the kids to the Bunnings playground, and when I’m slack with my (limited) household duties, he pretends not to notice. My floordrobe, for example, is rapidly expanding and probably sheltering a family of bush rats brought inside and set free by the cat, but he doesn’t complain. He steps over it without so much as a “hmph”. Actually, he’s probably tidied it up. He’s just that kind of guy.

This particular Mother’s Day picture from Crappypictures.com (see below) has been doing the rounds on Facebook again this year, so I thought I would do my own Mother’s Day wrap-up with reference to “Crappy Pictures Best Mother’s Day Gifts.” Here goes:

1. Sleep-In – well, that depends on what you define as a sleep-in. If having two three-year-olds jump on you at 6:21am for 15 minutes, then leave to get breakfast with daddy, meaning you can try to catch a few more zzzzzz’s, then yes, I had a sleep-in. If sleep-in means you are not disturbed until 10am, then a definitive no;

2. Eat with two hands – yes! I can usually eat with two hands. This isn’t really an issue any more… Phew. (I even got scrambled eggs!);

3. Alone time – yes and no. When alone time is writing a class set of Year 7 reports, it’s debatable whether it’s a gift or a punishment (ah, the life of a teacher!);

4. Audience-free toilet time – yes! Oh, actually, no. I was interrupted and had to allow two intruders in, shut the door, turn off the light, and exclaim in delight at the sight of their glow worm babies in darkness.

And a few of my own favourite Mother’s Day gifts:

5. No tantrums – NO! Despite being told about the sanctity of Mother’s Day and the need to show their love for Mummy by being very, very good, we suffered a couple of meltdowns (well, from Miss P, anyway). Maybe next year when she’s four she might get it? (Please?)

6. Messy but adorable kid-made gift – Yes! The kids made terrariums at kindy out of softdrink bottles. They planted little seedlings inside, decorated them with pink handprints, and wrote their names and drew pictures on cards that contained care instructions. Awwwwww! (PS thank you kindy for the care instructions – I’m just not very good at potplants – hope they survive!) I’d also like to thank kindy for doing craft at all. I’m not very crafty.

The kids and their terrariums

7. Dad-bought gift presented by kids – Check! I asked for some Ugg boots as my gift. Check ‘em out! (Not necessarily what I’d choose, but it’s the thought, right? Thanks, Honey, I love them!)

What I learnt:

· Sleep-ins are not possible unless kids sleep over at their grandparents’ house;

· Buy bacon to go with eggs;

· Don’t leave Year 7 reports to the last minute;

· Use the downstairs toilet and lock the door;

· Kids don’t modify their behaviour on Mother’s Day – not three-year-olds, anyway;

· Terrarium plants require just a couple of sprays of water each day. Do not drown seedlings;

· Provide pictures of desired Ugg boots to husband, or just suck it up and love what you get!

Ah, Mother’s Day 2013. One to remember!

Trading 15 minutes for 15 years - Part 1

Tue, 07 May 2013 09:30:36 +1000

By now you have seen the odd photo of me and more than likely it was sporting the a not overly flattering onesie. As you can see, I’m not a slight man by any means, but until recently I didn’t really know how bad it was.

You see, I’ve always been solid… not fat, but solid. Through High School I filled out and by the time I was 15, I was 69kgs (I remember that number for some reason ;)). I played sport and even after finishing school I was very active, playing Hockey, Touch Football and Basketball. I would train/play at least 3 times a week and due to this, my metabolism always allowed me to eat whatever I wanted and the amount I wanted.

I dropped Touch and then Hockey… I started to get more “solid”. I did pick up basketball a bit more and at one stage in my mid 20’s I was playing 3 times a week and still was holding my weight at bay (even though the gourmet pizza and a few beers after each game at the Australian Hotel wasn’t helping).

My “fighting weight” as I call it is 94kgs. At 6ft 1in, that is still considered overweight, but as I had always been solid, I was comfortable and I could still do everything I wanted too.

Like most parents, you put on a few kgs when you have a child… sure it’s expected from the Mother, but Dad’s do too, I put on sympathy weight when 3AM Mum was pregnant with Jaec. 5 kgs to be exact. 99kgs… hmmm… still under a tenth of a tonne and sure, I was past solid, but I still didn’t feel uncomfortable.

I was still playing basketball once or twice a week after we had Jaec. I still remember 3AM Mum saying how active Jaec was when he was in the womb at my games… now 9 years on, he still loves getting out for game. The trouble is 9 years on, I’m not 99 kgs, I’m not playing anymore competitively and the “old” knees and ankles don’t like it as much as they used too.

When we fell pregnant with Kaine, we made the decision to move up north to Brisbane for my work. I flew back to Sydney every weekend to see my 1 year old and pregnant wife and fitness went out the window completely The most exercise I got was slapping the “All Lines” button on the pokies at the local pub with some work mates at lunch, whilst dining on the finest of deep fried “foods”.

As we were pregnant again, I did what I did last time… I whacked on 5kgs of sympathy weight and to be honest, I felt all of my 104kgs. I was 10kgs over my “fighting weight” and starting to get uncomfortable. I was in a new city, without my family and friends. I had a baby over 1000km away and a pregnant fiance. I don’t think I was depressed, but it was the toughest emotionally I had ever been. Kaine came early and I flew home early that week and met my 2nd child in 16 months. 6 weeks later, all 4 of us were residing in Brisbane and at least I had my family with me. I was happy.

I started playing futsal once a week with my work mates, but with 2 kids under 2, it was hard on all of us. The only other exercise I got was walking 10 minutes to and from the train station… and I didn’t even like that. I stopped playing futsal, we fell pregnant again 8 months after Kaine was born and we had no family support.

We had 2 options, I try to get a job back in Sydney and maybe take a backwards step in my career or we move to the Gold Coast to be closer to the 3AM In-Laws for help and I make the commute up each day. We decided on the second, as I still needed to bring in some OK money with a soon to be family of 5 under my roof.

We settled on the Gold Coast really well, but now I was away from my work mates too and I was more time poor with the hour commute. I had no time for fitness and to follow my rule I set up previously, I was 109kgs by the time Izaac was born.

I received comments like “Really, you don’t look that big” , “Wow, that big. You really carry it well”.

This is the first part of my ongoing Weight Journey, I have recently started to focus on it, please keep an eye out for future editions.

Aussie Daddy Blogger - Mother's Day Special

Mon, 06 May 2013 09:30:28 +1000

This is my post for the latest Aussie Daddy Blogger Joint Initiative. My Mother’s Day post on “Buying for your ‘significant other’ on Mother’s Day.”

Phase 2 bike track demo

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:17:35 +1000

Phase 2 bike track demo

Back yard bike track, a work in progress.

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:15:14 +1000

Back yard bike track, a work in progress.

Phase 1 of the kids bike track in the backyard.

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:09:00 +1000

Phase 1 of the kids bike track in the backyard.

3AM Dad writes for Kidspot - Having it all!

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 10:24:00 +1000

I have written an article on “Having it all: a Stay at home Dad’s perspective” published by Kidspot.com.au. I have been published… woot! I think that I can officially call myself a writer :D. Please have a read and share with your family and friends.

Welcome to the Fatherlution!

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:36:00 +1000

A lot of you have been reading my blog for over 2 years and some have come on board in recent weeks, but all of you are here to read about a simple man, doing special things… well “special” for a man anyway ;). When I started this blog, it was for my thoughts, feelings and experiences. I thought this would be a cool thing to give my daughter when she was older. I still think this, but now it is much more than that.

I am a part of the Fatherlution. I am one of many Dads, that have stayed at home to care to their kids. I am one of many Aussie Daddy Bloggers too. Please drop by our site and our Facebook Page and show some support.

You would’ve undoubtedly seen some of us in magazines, online articles and on radio recently. Keep an eye out for us on the TV too in coming weeks.

Welcome to the Fatherlution.

Boys and their toys...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:50:25 +1000

Recently started building a bike track in the back yard… I was a little more excited than the boys as I got the spray paint out and started marking out the track. Jaecob (8) ventured out the back, more interested initially in the spray can, than what I was actually doing with it. Finally after a few minutes of “Can I have a go Dad?”, he asked “Dad, whatchya doin’?”.

BANG! an almighty explosion from next door made both he and I jump. I looked over the fence to 5 teenagers with what would be best described as a pipe gun.

“What was that dad?” Jaec asked

“Just some kids being silly” I responded.

“Why are they doing that?”

“Probably because they don’t have girlfriends.” I said with a wink. “Jaec, you’re not going to be like that when you are a teenager are you mate?”

“Nah Dad, I’ll be too busy riding my bike.”

“And what about having a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I’ll ride my bike and have a girlfriend.” He said knowingly

Atta boy.

Do you even lift Mummy Style!

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 06:07:10 +1000

Do you even lift Mummy Style!

I did it, I bought one :D

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 21:40:46 +1000

I did it, I bought one :D

I don’t know about you, but I am def buying a few of...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 07:25:17 +1000

I don’t know about you, but I am def buying a few of these!

I must remind myself of this more often!

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:42:59 +1000

I must remind myself of this more often!

5 minutes of giggling to myself, as this came from my son's room.

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 05:00:53 +1000

Recently, I laid on my lounge while the following comments came from my son’s room… see if you can guess what was happening before the end.

That’s why we have to get it out

…

Pull it Kaine

…

Give it a yank

…

Kaine you pull it out

…

I’ll yank it out

…

Let me have another little wiggle

…

If I can just pull it, it’s done

…

I haven’t even touched it

…

One last wiggle and its done

…

You nearly pulled it out

…

It’s ok, it’s just bleeding

…

I’m just having a look

…

No pulling!

…

I’m not pulling, I’m having a look

…

Go look in the mirror, it’s just hanging there

…

Let me get a tissue One pull and then you’re done

…

My son had a loose tooth… sheesh, you guys have a dirty mind!

Put in my place by a Comic Book Man

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:01:45 +1000

My oldest has taken in interest in comic books lately, and anything that involves reading, I will support him! So after an awesome week at school, as a reward I decided I would take all 3 boys to our local comic book store.

If you haven’t worked it out already, I am a little bit of a nerd. I wasn’t really into Comic Books as a child, but I did have an unhealthy fascination with Ren and Stimpy and did have a couple of their comic books. So I went searching and found my collection (totalled 4 books in great condition), I thought… why don’t I see what they are worth.

As we arrived at the store, our excitement grew… we opened the door and started making our way up the stairs, passed numerous comics, card and role playing posters that I had no clue what they were. Jaec started… “What’s that Dad?”, “Who’s that Dad?” etc. Sorry mate, I don’t know.

We arrived at the top of the stairs and the store was empty, rows of boxes containing comic books, very similar to the Big Bang Theory comic book store. There were rows of other “gaming” memorabilia and the back of the shop was rows of tables, for games to be played. Another family walked through the door, as I pulled out stacks of Hulk, Spiderman, Green Lantern and Batman books for the boys to go through and pick 2 each. Two adult children (you know the ones, pimples with facial hair) walked in, as I went looking for Ren and Stimpy.

Another 4 people walked in (they must have seen me arrive) and the place was quite full. After 5 minutes of unsuccessfully looking for the comic books I was after, I stood in line behind the family and in front of the man children, waiting to chat with the diminutive, yet plump and hairy attendant behind the counter. After the family stopped talking about 1Direction trading cards, I stepped forward.

“How are you mate?” I asked like I knew what I was doing.

“Good, how can I help you?” He responded without looking up from the box of 1Direction cards he was putting back.

“I was wondering, do you have any Ren and Stimpy comic books?” Making sure I didn’t just say “comics”, they don’t like it when you call them “comics”.

“No, we don’t stock kids comic books, we aim at teen ages and above”

he threw me a glance

“I can get them in if you want?”

“Nah, it’s OK, I used to watch Ren and Stimpy, I thought I’d just ask.” as I stepped towards my kids and said “No Ren and Stimpy boys, do you have any that you like?” with my comics under my arm and tail between my legs.

After being put in my place by the “Comic book guy”, I bought 6 books for the boys and left.

Thanks princess

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:39:51 +1000

Thanks princess

I found someone that can give my wife something that I never could.

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 20:00:29 +1000

When I returned to work, we hired a house cleaner. Every week, my wife calls me at work in the afternoon.

I answer the phone “Hi Hun”.

“I love Denise” is my wife’s response before she even says ‘Hi’.

Even though Denise comes every week, usually within 3 days, there is enough food on the dining room floor to feed a small country and enough wee on the toilet floor to drown a small child. Adding to this we have had so much rain lately that the lawn at our place is really just grass sitting in liquid dirt. Keeping that mud outside just isn’t as easy as “Kids, please take your shoes off before coming inside.”

Recently after a long day at school and a mid week grocery shop, we were piling out of the car at home. Thank god there was a break in the weather, so getting the groceries, school bags and musical instruments out of the car wasn’t going to be an “event”.

As I turned the car off, I leaned in the back. “OK guys, I know you are tired, but can you please help me get the groceries in the house, so I don’t have to do 20 trips.” I received mostly nods, except from Izaac (5)… he through his head back, almost as far as he rolled his eyes. He jumped out of the car and bumped his knee. Now in recent months when Izaac hurts himself, he doesn’t just sit there and cry or call out to mum or dad, he just runs as far and fast as he can screaming at the top of his lungs until he gets tired… this was another one of these occasions.

As he ran towards the lawn at the side of our house, I called out “Izaac, STOP!” he took 3 sludging steps onto the grass and stopped, turned and glared at me. “Excuse me Izaac, please get off the grass, I don’t want you walking mud through my clean house.” I said sternly.

“It’s not your house, it’s Mummy’s house.” he responded back deepening his gaze at me.

I came back with “Well, you are wrong. It’s the bank’s house.” sticking out my tongue and laughing ;P

One day

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 21:16:08 +1000

One day

A letter to my daughter... 3AM Mum responds

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:57:56 +1000

My beautiful wife sent me this letter this week, responding to “A letter to my daughter”. I had to share.

It’s taken me a couple of days to be able to write this response to my dear husband after reading his beautiful letter to our special angel Yve.

The past two years has been an amazing ride with many ups and downs that go along with bringing up 4 wonderful individuals. I wanted to take this moment to thank him for making every single day during those 2 years memorable and special for both me and my kids. They have had the opportunity to get to know you, grow with you and be inspired by you. I have watched you tackle the hectic routine of getting them to school, organizing play dates, doctors appointments, cooking dinner, swimming, violin, guitar, tutoring lessons, shopping, a morning coffee catch up or a quick round of golf! I have watched you struggle with those routines but as you said 2 years ago you wanted to experience the whole package and do it your way. I wouldn’t have broken her leg or left her in the car park at school but that was your way ;P.

You prioritized things so differently to me like played with the kids in the backyard over cleaning the house, organized a play date over cleaning the house or watched Ellen over cleaning the house.

You have done an amazing job and i know our children are better people for this. I have been able to achieve some personal and professional goals along the way. For this I want to thank you and tell you what an amazing father and husband you are. Yve has survived day care this week (I wasn’t sure if you would) and I know the next couple of months are going to be a struggle for you but know this - a job is just a job and who knows what’s around the corner so lets just enjoy the journey together and see what happens. You never know golf and coffee may be back on your weekly schedule before you know it.

mmmmmmmwwwwwwwaaaaaaa

Thanks everyone for your continued support of 3AM Dad.

3AM Mum

The Best 2 Years of My Life... a letter to my daughter.

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 23:10:06 +1000

Dear Baby Girl,

I am writing to you the day after your 2nd Birthday, the day before your first day in kindy and one week before I return to work. I love you with all my heart.

I hope that over the last 2 years I have nurtured and guided you to be the best you can be. I hope that the best years of my life have been as enjoyable for you as it has been for me. Yes, we have had some difficult times, I broke your leg when you were only a few weeks old, I wasn’t there in time when you grazed your knee so many times and when I tell you “no” and you give me that look like I have told you that your puppy just died.

I have changed over 3,000 nappies, I have wiped your face over 800 times, I have kissed you goodnight 730 times, I have put you to sleep over 500 times. I have cheated and given you a bottle for lunch when I should have made you a sandwich. I have picked you up, when you should have been sleeping and held you when you cried, when I know that I shouldn’t. I have laid with you at 10am to have a cheeky nap.

Your smiles light up my heart and your grumpy face, just reminds me of your beautiful Mother ;).

I will always be here for you. But I won’t be there tomorrow when you hang out with your friends at kindy, I won’t be there next week either, I’ll be back at work helping your Mum provide for our family, but know this, I love you with all my heart. Your brothers, your mum and I are and always will be here when you fall, here to celebrate your wins, here when you have your first crush, here when that crush breaks your heart… and just be here when you don’t even want us to be.

These last 2 years have reinforced what having Jaecob 8 years ago taught me. I was put on this earth to have you all. You are my children and I am proud to be your Dad. I will continue to be strict and teach you right from wrong, attempt to keep you safe and give you the tools to make your own life descisions.

I know that at this moment, I fill a big part of your heart with love and as you grow, I hope that it doesn’t shrink too much. Please be safe tomorrow and be strong and happy, as your Dad will be a fricking mess.

I love you.

Dad